Haal-E-Dil

Ye kya ho gaya hai, ye kaha kho gayi hu,

Aaj pehli baar alfaaz nahi mil rahe,

Aisa to kabhi nahi mehsoos kiya,

Ye kaisi kash-ma-kash me hun.

Ho kismat me tum nahi mere,

To hatho ki lakeeron me kyu the,

Ab bhi wo khwaab zinda hai kya,

Isi soch me uljhi hui hun.

Ye dard hai ki jaata nahi,

Intezar kar thak gayi aankhein meri,

Koi dawa de de us dard ka,

Wo toote sheeshe aaj bhi chubhte hain.

Bas yahi khwaish bachi hai ab,

Kisi mod pe mila de tumhe khuda,

Palkon pe saja lungi us pal ko,

Dil se nikalti hai ye dua.

Maine chaha bahut uss ret ko pakadna,

Par hathon se wo fisal hi gaya,

Waqt ke iss katghare me ab,

Rasta alag ho hi gaya.

It's Complicated

It's been ages since I came here. Feels so different to be writing again.

I have been going through many thoughts and feelings recently. And I don't know what I feel anymore. It's complicated.

Life has changed so much. Have come a long way. Gone through so many things. It's difficult to explain. It's difficult to start again. There are so many things. I don't know where to start from.

At this very moment, I feel pain, loss, emotional. The world has become so different. People have advanced so much in so many ways, and yet they have lost themselves in this journey.

Just now I saw a post on FB that a theatre artist in Italy performed on stage, but there was no audience. It's so weird. Talent & creativity are losing its charm is it? People are so busy being social & online, that they are losing the true essence of moral values & ethics. Its way too forward now and I dont want to be like that. But I am not like this also. It's confusing.

I dont even know what I am blabbering about. But it feels good in a way. Even I had lost myself somewhere in this journey. But now I want to take a step back and be the person I was. Poetic, creative. And I want to enjoy this life to its fullest.

Stalkers

Once I told one problem to a friend of mine, & he thought I might be getting stalked! I did not give much thought to it that time, & dismissed it.

Stalker actually means someone who follows or observes a person persistently. These days number of Mobile Stalkers are rising! By mobile stalker I mean someone who keeps messaging you or calling you persistently, to be friends with you.

They really make it a point to frustrate you! You have no idea how they got hold of your number. They will obviously not reveal that! They will keep sending messages. You have no way to block them! What I hate the most are those typical messages - "I want to make frandship with you. Please say yes." (You can not even spell that word correctly dude! How can you expect me to say yes!), "Trust me I am not flirting" (Excuse me! Trust YOU of all the people!), blah blah. It is just very very irritating!

And why am I writing all this today? Is it not obvious yet?

Yes. Today I received some of those stupid messages again! And I am actually quite bored of it. Few of my friends say not to entertain them. Well I do not actually entertain them. First I think may be a friend of mine is playing a prank on me. Unfortunately, after some time I realize that is not the case.

Chalte Rehna Hai...

Kuch batein, kuch meethi yadein..Zindagi ki ye saugatein..
Dil me samete huye chalna hai...
Aansoo aaye agar palkon pe..
Unko thame chalna hai...
Jane nahi dena hai kisiko..
Sabko sang lekar chalna hai...
Bas yehi gham hai rukne nahi deti zindagi..
Kehti hai iss raah pe sirf chalte hi rehna hai...

Paint My Love

The senseless ramblings that goes on in mind

The mindless thoughts crossing over,

The images that form in mind

The feelings I can not get over.

The face that appears

Whenever I close my eyes,

The love that overwhelms me

That sometimes makes me cry.

I keep drawing something randomly

The thoughts does not stop now,

The space around me is a canvas

My hands act like a brush now.

I can choose from a variety of colors

And yet white only seems appropriate,

I want to paint my love

And to get it reflected.

I want to show my happiness

I want to go with the flow,

I want to get the message across

I want to dance and show.

Jazbaat

Kehte hain jazbaaton ki koi seema nahi hoti

Kisika khyaal rakhne ki koi hadh nahi hoti.

Pyaar rang badalta hai

Har roop-rang mein mil jata hai.

Kisiko chaho jab toot kar

Baatein fir mayne nahi rakhti,

Nigaahein sab keh deti hain

Lavzon ki zarurat nahi hoti.

Koi kareeb aata hai jitna

Dooriyan jab wo kam karta hai,

Na chahte huye bhi

Na jane kyu ek darr sa lagta hai.

Paas aana chahe bhi dil to

Koi ehsaas usse rokta hai,

Doori banaye rakhna chaho bhi to

Koi ehsaas chup kara jata hai.

Bas yuhi likhte-likhte

Shabd khatm ho jate hain,

Aur jazbaaton ka samandar

Uthal-puthal hi reh jata hai.

Losing The 'Us'

Wrote this on 7th August 2004 at a Poetry Competition.

God created this world and human beings

Filled with emotions that would guide their deeds,

Established some relationships which would bind them to some rules

And their hearts were like emotion’s pool.

They used honesty against lies

Which helped them maintain their ties,

Their love erased all sorts of anger and hatred

From the world God so beautifully created;

But these emotions exist no more,

For they have vanished from the heart’s core.

The feeling of unity which bound people together

Have now evaporated from their hearts,

Only words like ‘I’ and ‘Me’ exist

These days on the people’s cards.

We stand against our friends now

Believing this would lower their self-esteem,

But unknowingly, without realizing

We are letting down our own prestige.

People, these days, have forgotten

That they are social animals,

And with their friends’ help and unity

They can stand against all odds as one.

Losing our friends, Losing the ‘US’

Does not mean we are great,

Instead we are losing ourselves,

Our inner self, under our own weight.